Getting through a divorce as busy mum

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Category: Parenting Tips

A divorce can be a traumatic and stressful enough experience by itself, let alone when combined with the rigmarole and commitments of everyday life. As a busy mum, it might seem hard to find the time to organise the settlements, attend court if necessary, look after your children and work all at the same time.

The excellent news is that there are experts to help you through the process and, with a little self-care, you can come out the other side of this ordeal a better person.

Arrangements for your children

Divorce does not only affect you but also those around you. It might be wise to make arrangements for your children to stay with a relative during the most stressful times, while it is essential that they continue to see friends and loved ones as much as possible to reduce feelings of loneliness or anxiety.

Unless there are extenuating circumstances, both you and your former partner will retain parental responsibility for the children. Whether this is going to be the case or not, you must explain the separation to your children as best you can.

Attending court

Generally, it is not necessary to attend court as part of divorce proceedings. However, if it is necessary, then it is wise to find a local solicitor who will guide you through the process. Because court cases can amplify and concentrate the stress of divorce, this expertise and the comfort of your friends or hobbies will be more important than ever.

Find time for yourself

Legal issues can be dealt with effectively by professionals, but your mental health is a more complex matter. Find some ‘you’ time where you can, to relax, eat something nice or engage in some pampering. If you have young children, this sort of relaxation might not have been factored into your life for some time, but it is more critical now than ever. If you have gone through a divorce and your former partner still has parental duties, use the time that your young ones are with them to truly and meaningfully look after yourself.

Keep friends close

Friends will be trying to do everything they can for you during this time, so let them. Divorces can be tough on friend groups, especially when both partners shared a number of friends. These friends will likely be desperate not to spend more time with one of you than the other and would love nothing more than to continue being as close to you as they were before.

Keep these friends close; as a busy mum you never know when you might require the favour of some house or babysitting.

Use work to occupy your mind

The busy mum that you are, you are juggling everything at once, including a job. If you can, flip this added stress on its head and view it as a positive. Being at work is productive and your personal life can be left at home, so attempt to use time at work to occupy your mind, further yourself and put this traumatic ordeal behind you.