If there is any whiff of any red flags during the wedding planning phase, they’re often justifiably ignored. Otherwise when two people decide to make things official by planning a wedding, the last thing on either of your minds is how the marriage could go wrong in one of the worst ways possible. Separation is a very painful possible reality to have to think about, let alone actually going through a divorce.
Unfortunately though, it’s such a common outcome that it statistically comes down to a 50/50 chance that your marriage will end in a separation. To reiterate, even though the stats point to a more proactive approach to the possibility of a separation, chances are you don’t ever imagine the marriage ending in this way, so needless to say you’re probably beyond the point of putting measures in place for a civilised approach to the possible separation. If you are indeed going through a divorce, how do you go about making it a civilised affair?
Get the confrontation out the way
Understandably so, emotions could be running very high when the difficulties inevitably have to be confronted. It’s inevitable that things might get very heated, considering the main reasons why people who were once madly in love choose to go their separate ways. So if there is a screaming to have to endure, as something that might feel like a natural terrace, let it be and let it play out.
Once things have calmed down and emotions are under control, a more civil way forward can be mapped out, during which time it’s important to be realistic and objective.
Facing the harsh realities of assigning responsibility
Even if it becomes apparent that the other party might not want to shoulder their fair of the ensuing responsibility for the reasons behind the divorce proceedings, on your part you should make sure to be objective about the realities of the responsibility. Note how it’s best referred to as responsibility as opposed to assigning blame, which might require of you to be the bigger person if the fault does indeed lie with the other party.
Either way, if things are to proceed in a civilised manner, we need to be realistic about establishing where the responsibility lies. If it’s merely a case of an amicable decision to part that’s been made, things are a lot easier, but even then that doesn’t mean it’s going to be a smooth process.
Expert legal advice
Bringing in a legal expert to handle the official proceedings is inevitable, but the best approach would be to make use of the services of the same divorce and separation lawyer attorney for the both of you. The most reputable of such legal professionals will only be too happy to take on such a case and handle it in an unbiased manner, because then it demonstrates to them that they’re working with two civil adults who are able to look beyond their emotional convictions and come to a fair settlement of the matter.