In somewhat of an ongoing battle of the sexes, we ladies are often seen to be manipulative by the lads. When we’re being petty then I can understand where they’re coming from, but the guys need to understand that most of the time when we’re being ‘manipulative,’ as they say, it’s for their own good or for the good of our families. The result we’re trying to get is one which has roots that are deeply planted in positive development.
So while there might be a hint of coming across as being manipulative in trying to get your husband or significant other to quit smoking cigarettes, I’m sure even he will appreciate your efforts as being commendable. After all, it’s a lifestyle adjustment that can only bring about positive results.
Anyway, if you’re going to succeed in helping him get off cigarettes, you’ll probably have to take the lifestyle-adjustment approach to it. You’ll have to engineer an entire lifestyle change and not focus solely on the smoking itself.
Be upfront and honest from the get-go
Sometimes we tend to complicate things by over-thinking them, whereas all it might take is being open, upfront, sincere and direct about what we really want to achieve. For all you know, you could just suggest that he switches to vape kits as a proposed solution to the problem you may have with his smoking. Best case scenario is that he’s been meaning to quit in any case and so the transition might be that much easier.
Chances are he probably knows that his smoking is not appreciated, even if it’s one of those scenarios where you might have met him while he was already hooked on the habit. As a result, it likely won’t be something completely out-of-the-blue to try and have him quit. Either way, voice your concerns and be upfront right from the start.
Pursuing a plan of action
Once war has been openly declared on your significant other’s bad habit of smoking, the mind games can begin. I refer to them as mind games in the positive sense though, because that’s exactly what’s required – a psychologically sound approach. After all, it was indeed a psychological assault that led to him picking up the habit in the first place. We can go back to a time in history when some clever marketing and advertising was deployed to get women to enjoy the freedom to smoke, with cigarettes referred to as “torches of freedom,” as the advertisers piggy-backed on the general oppression of women to try and land more cigarette-addicted customers.
So when it comes to getting your partner to quit, adjusting your joint lifestyle is indeed the best way to go and it constitutes a psychological approach. Formulate a clear plan of action, part of which entails reinforcing the positive effects of a life without the honouring of one’s nicotine addiction. For instance, how about taking up a physical activity that is so competitive that the visible signs of giving up smoking can be directly felt, such as signing up for periodic participation in an Obstacle Course Race?
The knock-on effect of that undertaking resembles a greater lifestyle shift, because now in between the physically and mentally demanding Obstacle Course Races, the training requires the leading of a much healthier lifestyle that can be made a lot easier if one doesn’t smoke.
Re-evaluating your expectations
As much as you might have the best intentions for trying to get him to lay off the cigarettes and as much as he might be fully onboard with his desire to quit, the truth is it can go either way as far as your chances of actually succeeding. At the end of the day it’s all about just how deep his addiction runs, so you can religiously follow up on newly adopted rituals such as buying healthier alternatives from a vape store, but actually getting him to quit is going to take more than just his own desire to do so. All you can do really is offer him your full support. Be firm, but supportive.
The truth is if you’re not a smoker yourself then it’s really not an enjoyable experience kissing a smoker for life, so a lifestyle-adjustment approach such as the one explored is worth the effort, but make no mistake about the fact that it’ll be a colossal effort.